Although all my clothes still fit me I know I’ve managed to gain a tiny bit of weight while on holidays in Italy (and who wouldn’t, with all that gorgeous pastry and pasta?), so I’ve been pondering whether I should go on a diet. Jokingly, I emailed one of my best friends Kate (who is seemingly effortlessly thin) and asked her for her weight loss advice. Her response? To get a tapeworm. Kate went on holidays to Cambodia, Thailand and Laos over Christmas and came back thin but contiuously hungry. The possibility that she might have caught a tapeworm infection whilst in South East Asia quickly became a bit of a running joke which even her mother was in on. Fortunately, I don’t think Kate really has such an infection, although I’m not sure she’d get rid of it if she did.

Anyway, Kate’s advice to find myself my own resident tapeworm jogged my memory. I was sure I’d heard somewhere that people had once taken tablets that contained tapeworm larvae which would result in an infection and sudden weightloss. Once upon a time it had been thought of as a legitimate weight loss technique, and there are apparently rumours that models like Claudia Schiffer may have relied upon the nasty little fiends to keep the weight off. I decided Google would give me the definitive answer, and I (sadly) stumbled across this page, on which a fellow googler has commented, “I want to know where to get the tapeworm. you may think I’m crazy, but I really want to try it. if any one knows please let me know.” Perhaps if she is so keen to experiment with worm infections, I should contact her with a link to the Guinea Worm page on wikipedia. Seeing as she has no problem with having her body overrun with worms, she won’t mind the small discomfort the Guinea Worms cause the next time she’s having a bath and they decide to break free from their bodily shackles and escape into the water she’s sitting in. But I digress. When faced with the choice between eating raw meat in the hope of getting a tapeworm infection, or cutting back on my favourite roast chicken crisps from Walkers, I think I know what option I’ll be choosing.