March
25

Tower Bridge, London

Tower Bridge, London

 

I love the UK, and I have ever since I set foot in the country all those years ago and walked through Customs in Heathrow without seeing a single person getting their luggage checked. That being said, there are some things I simply don’t understand about the UK and probably never will… but I’m willing to put up with these little eccentricities. Here is my list of the UK’s good, bad, and ugly.

 

The Good:

  • The pubs. Australia may have great weather, but Australian pubs are simply not up to scratch. Here in the UK there’s a pub on every second corner, each with a good selection of beers on tap and any number of comfortable chairs and benches to stretch out on in front of the fire. If you’re lucky your local establishment will be the sort that lets people leave their muddy wellingtons at the door, and which makes the most of the local produce to provide some of the best pub food around.
  • The clothes. It’s no secret I’m slightly obsessed with River Island, but there’s a huge number of other equally fantastic (but reasonably priced) brands - TopShop, H&M, Zara, Next, New Look, Monsoon, FCUK… the list goes on. What’s even better is the fact that you have to wear my two favourite clothing items - coats and boots - most of the year because of the weather. Which brings me to my next point…
  • The weather. This falls into the ‘Good’ and the ‘Bad’ categories. On the plus side, it snows in the UK, something that is far more unusual in Australia (unless you live in the snow fields of Victoria or New South Wales) than it is here. Snow is still a novelty to me and I expect it always will be.
  • The newspapers. How did I ever get by without the Guardian in my pre-UK life? The selection of papers here in the UK is enough to make your eyes water, and when you consider that capital cities in Australia really only have one paper of their own and share the national paper, ‘The Australian’, you really have to wonder how anyone in Australia manages to have anything other than a mainstream opinion about world affairs. Diversity is the key, and the UK certainly has that.
  • The junk food. Crisp flavours in the UK are fantastic, as you may remember if you read my post about chips. Sweets (or as I refer to them, lollies) are great as well - Bassetts, wine gums, midget gems, Haribo, Galaxy… is it any wonder I manage to put on weight whenever I’m in the UK?

 

The Bad:

  • The girls. Not all the girls, just some of them. In particular, the ones that coat themselves in fake tan, pluck their eyebrows into non-existence, wear skirts that show the world their choice of bikini waxing, and have super-long plastic nails that click-clack whenever they move their fingers. These same girls are the ones that get pissed on Stella and vodka mixers, over-exaggerate their regional accents, and want to be Katie Price ‘when they grow up’. Luckily they rarely inhabit the same haunts as I do, so I generally don’t have to put up with them.
  • The weather. It’s bloody cold, and you rarely see the sun shine. Coming from the land of outdoor barbeques and days at the beach, adjusting to temperatures that freeze your ears and nose in seconds and your fingers and toes in minutes isn’t easy. Luckily I have come up with a remedy - whisky.
  • Expensive everything. The food, the alcohol, the petrol, the clothes, the football tickets… you name it, it costs double what it does in Australia, and not just because of the dodgy exchange rate. Luckily I get paid in GBP or I’d really be struggling.

 

The Ugly:

  • Rooney and Ronaldo. Why does the majority of the UK worship the ground these guys walk on? One loses his temper whenever he misses a goal and the other is more concerned about keeping his perfect hairstyle in place throughout the 90 minutes of the game than he is about the welfare of the rest of his team mates. Ridiculous!
  • Fish and chips the British way. Instead of doing the civilized thing and having some lightly battered fish with some chips and slices of lemon, the Brits seem to be fascinated with curry sauce, mushy nuclear-coloured peas, and chips that are more liquid than solid. Disgusting.
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Comments

Lulu on 25 March, 2008 at 10:24 pm #

I think all places have the good, the bad and the ugly unfortunately! I like the post idea and might have to steal it for TOKYO!

I like Zara, it is one of the few shops in Tokyo that sells clothes in foreign woman sizes….In other words women with hips and bums!

And the bars, they are awesome too! There are a lot of british style pubs here too which is good. Plus my recent fav, a spanish style half standing bar with tapas and lots of wine to choose from! Even some good Australian stuff! It helps that the owner is adorable and super nice!

Looking at your lists though it is nice to see that the good list is longer than both the bad and the ugly list. So you are obviously in the right place!


amy on 25 March, 2008 at 11:02 pm #

Feel free to steal it mate, it came to me in a flash of inspiration this morning! Would love to see what you’ve got to say about Tokyo cos it’s one of those places I’ve always wanted to go to but never got around to.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE tapas, it’s like the world’s best invention EVER after the internet. Tapas and wine is even better :D


Rachel on 26 March, 2008 at 10:07 pm #

Your list is so informative and really hilarious at times. Although I have never been to the UK I have friends that have been, and they always mention ‘those girls’ with the fake tan and plucked brows, hahah, so it was hilarious to read your recount of them.

I would LOVE to try out a brittish pub, i’d probably get right off the plain and drag myself to one. Im glad to hear they are up to scratch, I hear you with the Aussie ones being a bit lame


Ben Barden on 27 March, 2008 at 7:53 pm #

Living in the UK for the first 26 years of my life means I can relate to the whole of that list! (substituting menswear in the clothes section, obviously.)

For me, the problem is that many of these things need to be done in moderation, and I just don’t handle that too well. Pubs and junk food in particular. I seem to escape putting on a lot of weight but my teeth are not in very good shape due to eating to many sweets. And while I did have a lot of good pub nights, it hit my wallet pretty hard.

Crisps you can get in Australia: have you ever tried the Red Rock Deli brand? Very nice indeed!


Jill on 27 March, 2008 at 9:23 pm #

I’d really love to visit the UK someday. I’m kinda jealous you get all that good shopping there! ;)

And I liked the fish and chips bit. I think they make the best in NZ and of course, Australia!!


amy on 28 March, 2008 at 1:44 am #

Rachel - the British pubs are fantastic. I went to one today for lunch and the table next to us had brought in their dog! And how many Aussie pubs do you know that serve a ‘goats cheese, tomato and spring onion tart on a bed of seasonal salad’? Love it.

Ben - I have tried Red Rock Deli, by problem with them is they have some really dodgy flavours - lime and black pepper? Chilli and coconut? Ew. ;)

Jill - I agree, Australians and NZers do fish and chips the best. None of this pea mush rubbish, we stick to the lemon and tartare. Yum.


Ben Barden on 30 March, 2008 at 12:10 pm #

Never tried chilli and coconut! lol! I love lime and black pepper though :D