I do dearly love the UK. The weather, the gardens, the football, the culture that seems somehow a part of me even though I wasn’t born here; all are reasons I keep coming back. Each time I return, however, I’m reminded of how different I am to the norm, simply because I’m Australian. We like to think we have a lot in common, us Aussies and Brits - we share a love of sports, the English language, and the Union Jack, amongst other things - but the fact is that Australians are drastically different in personality to our brothers and sisters from the Mother Country. I find this to be particularly true when you compare an Australian of my age (mid-twenties) to a Brit around the age of Rob’s parents. We seem to have opposing philosophies, and whilst I acknowledge this could be to do with age as much as culture, I can’t help but think it has a lot to do with being brought up in different countries.

Australians are reputed for being laid-back, cheerful and in favour of giving people ‘a fair go’. In general I’d have to say I think this is true, but in ways that are more subtle than you would think at first glance. At Rob’s dinner table, the conversation usually centres around politics or finance - the recession, unhappiness with the state of the Labour Party in Britain, membership in the EU, and so forth. I’m always amused when I’m asked “What is the standard mortgage rate in Australia?”, “How much do you pay for your health insurance?”, “How much tax do you pay?”, or “How much is your car insurance?” - to me, these are personal questions, and ones that I am never asked in Australia. My reaction to most statements made about such topics is to shrug, smile, and say, ‘Oh well, it won’t always be like this.’ I’d rather be talking about food, books, or the lives of family and friends. Whilst Rob’s parents seem to think it’s perfectly fine to enquire about the exact figure of my annual income, my family’s income, and our use of mortgages and credit cards, my parents would never dream of asking Rob anything remotely to do with money. They would instead be interested in how Rob’s family works - are they caring towards one another, what do they talk about around the dinner table, and are they pleasant towards me?

I’m always amazed by the treatment of customers by staff in British restaurants or stores. Coming from a retail background in Australia I expect to be served with a smile and a friendly word or two - but in the UK this is rare (particularly in London and the other bigger cities). Staff here aren’t necessarily outright rude, they just don’t seem to care one way or the other. This difference made itself particularly apparent recently, when I was coming through Immigration in Manchester. I strode up to the desk with a friendly smile and greeting, only to be responded to with a grunt. When the immigration lady decided I had been in and out of the country too often over the last few months (even though this isn’t illegal and I was 100% in the right as far as my visa was concerned) and I was thus worthy of detaining for further examination, she treated me like a criminal. I wasn’t allowed to turn my phone on to text Rob (who had already gone through immigration to get our luggage), I wasn’t allowed to explain my reasons for being in the UK so frequently, and I was cut-off several times as I answered the questions the immigration staff were asking. My luggage was torn apart and rifled through, every single piece of paper I had on me (including receipts for drinks and two magazines I’d read on the plane) was taken for further investigation, and at one stage they even wanted to confiscate my thyroid medication (which I can’t do without). Only after it was established that I was in fact genuine and telling the truth did the staff member start being polite to me, at which point she told me that her daughter was currently out in Australia back-packing. I was certain her daughter wouldn’t have been treated as rudely going through Australian Immigration as I had been trying to enter the UK - they at least would have greeted her daughter with a smile. Rob confirmed my suspicions - he’s never been treated poorly as a Brit entering Australia.

A recent article in the UK’s Sunday Times Magazine, entitled ‘What a Difference a G’Day Makes,’ analyzed the reasons that so many Brits are emigrating to Australia. Presently, 25% of all immigrants to Australia are British, and a huge portion of our tourism industry relies upon the British Pound. One of the Brits interviewed stated that she moved to Australia in part because she loves how tolerant the Australians are - she can wear flip-flops (thongs) to the office, and she believes that Australians are laid-back, free, and completely unaware of class or cultural barriers. Another interviewee said that in Australia, “You’re treated the same as everyone else, whether you’ve been here for a few weeks or 30 years. You’re not judged by your background or your accent, you’re judged by what you can do for Australia.” The final sentence of the article is the most telling - “as I watched younger Australians and British backpackers dance in the New Year and partying on the beaches of Sydney, it occurred to me that perhaps Britain had made a terrible mistake - surely they should have left the convicts at home and emigrated?” I think this article has hit the difference right on the head - in Britain, a long history of class and cultural divide has seemingly become ingrained in the national psyche. In Australia, we simply don’t care - we’ve all come from humble beginnings, whether convict or settler or immigrant - and we’re all working towards a single national future.

I find that I have to hide my Australian-ness whilst I’m in the UK, not because I’m ashamed of my accent or my attitudes, but because people really distrust my cheerfulness and laid-back approach. I’m not as worried about this as I used to be - I can’t change the UK or the people that inhabit it, nor should I want to change my own uniquely Australian personality. The secret is to understand that the differences run deep and are forged by often opposing national histories - Australia is young, optimistic, and has never been invaded or attacked to the extent the UK has. For the most part emigration to Australia is legal, whereas the UK has an open-border policy within the EU which sees hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world pour in to the country each year. Far from being bogged down by year upon year of tradition and structure, Australia seems to change readily with the times, whilst in the UK any changes are made much more slowly. I think the only thing that really surprises me about the relationship between Australia and the UK is the fact that Britain was responsible for the formation of my home country - which would imply that some of our youthful optimism and exuberance must have come from our parent nation. I’m yet to come across such emotions in the UK - and believe me, I’ve been looking.

I’d be really interested to hear from any other Australian-British expats - is it just me that feels this way about the relationship between our two nations?

Picture this: it’s a grey, miserable day which you’re forced to spend inside with the future-in-laws and your PlayStation-playing boyfriend. Even though it’s Saturday (prime shopping day), you’ve got no chance of convincing anyone to accompany you into town for a browse through the stores. Faced with an afternoon of boredom (’We can listen to the football game on the radio if you want, and then the Thames Boat Race is on at 4pm on telly!’), you realise you have two choices. One: you can submit yourself to that dull, mind-numbing rainy-day gloom and end up wishing you’d spent the day in bed; or two: you can hit the online stores. I’m sure you can guess which one I chose.

After spending a good couple of hours browsing around, I’ve come to the conclusion that the UK is a far better place to live when it comes to online shopping, simply because postage is much cheaper and the selection is far greater. Here are the top ten UK-centric online stores I’ve come across today - some of them ship internationally, so even if you’re not UK based you can take advantage of my finds.

1. Amazon.co.uk - www.amazon.co.uk

Amazon has long been a favourite of mine as they offer a massive selection of just about everything, from books to DVDs to CDs to electronics and games to home-wares to toys to fashion items. Many a time I have found a rare book or import CD listed on Amazon which I haven’t been able to track down anywhere else. At Christmas, I placed a huge order for books and DVDs for presents for friends, and thrilled everyone with my online shopping prowess. Once you spend over a certain amount you also qualify for free postage, AND the Amazon Wish List program is, in my opinion, one of the best. Recommendations are generated from your wish list so you can discover new authors or musicians without having to browse for hours.

2. Waterstones - www.waterstones.co.uk

I love Waterstones, it’s so much nicer than WHSmith (which verges on being a supermarket, not a bookstore). Every year at Christmas, Waterstones put out a gift catalogue which I pore over eagerly looking for new reads. They have a fantastic selection of every subject I’m interested in too - Architecture, History, Art, Politics, Popular Science, and of course Fiction.

3. Boots - www.boots.com

I only realised that Boots have an online store yesterday, and I spent a huge part of this morning scrolling through their beauty products. Boots, of course, are one of the best (if not THE best) pharmacist/chemists in the UK, and if you’re looking for a good selection of beauty and make-up products, Boots Online has it all. Best of all, they have a load of promotions online - presently, 3 for 2 beauty products.

4. TopShop (and TopMan) - www.topshop.com & www.topman.com

I’m not necessarily a huge fan of the TopShop brand - their clothes are far more trend based than I prefer, and thus they can only be worn for a season or two. Having said that, their online store(s) are comprehensive and really easy to use, and I did find several bags listed in their Accessories section which I was tempted by. During the sales, TopShop also have a dedicated Sales section on their website, which is definitely not a bad thing!

5. River Island - www.riverisland.co.uk

Okay, yes, I’m probably biased, I do love River Island with a passion. Having said that, their online store is fantastic - very easy to use, great to scroll through if you’re browsing, and is updated almost daily with new items. I believe it’s also been voted the Best Online Retailer quite recently, which just goes to show I’m on to a good thing.
6. Zavvi - www.zavvi.co.uk

I still refer to this as Virgin in my head, but they are very firmly re-branded as ‘Zavvi’ and they’re sticking to it. The online store has a better selection than the physical stores, simply because you’re shopping through a central database attached to a warehouse - so if you’re looking for something rare or harder to find, the online store is the way to go. Not as cheap as Amazon.co.uk, but they’ve got some great membership benefits and you can visit the stores in person if you want to check out the products before you purchase.

7. TATE - www.tate.org.uk/shop

The best place to find slightly unusual or arty gifts - books, prints, home-wares, jewellery, toys; you name it, the TATE gallery shop online has it. It’s a great place to pick up memorabilia or souvenirs if you’re interested in an artist or exhibition currently showing, and it’s also handy for finding a present for the person in your life that has everything.

8. Ebuyer - www.ebuyer.com

I didn’t cotton on to Ebuyer until Rob pointed it out a few months ago, and I can see why he likes it so much. If you’re after anything computer or electronics, Ebuyer is the best place to start - simply because they often have great specials and deals on items they have bulk amounts of. We’ve found many a bargain just by browsing through, and it’s generally a lot cheaper than PC World.

9. Marks & Spencer - www.marksandspencer.com

Marks and Spencer is great for basics, but the clothes do tend to be a bit hit and miss. Their food, however, is the greatest creation known to man - and that’s why their online store makes my list. If you haven’t ever tried M&S Lemonade or their sweets selection, I pity you.

10. Accessorize - @ www.monsoon.co.uk
I used to work for Accessorize, and I loved it - each week we’d get our shipment of new products, and we’d take it in turns to open up a box and pull out the new additions to the store. It was like Christmas on a weekly basis… and we got to wear all the necklaces and bracelets we wanted whilst we were on the shop floor, too. Unfortunately, Accessorize closed its doors in Australia, which is why I stock up whenever I’m in the UK. Their online store is fantastic - a huge selection of bags and a great choice of jewellery and scarves makes it one of the best ways to find gifts for your friends without leaving the sofa.

Have you got any favourite online stores that I’ve missed? Care to recommend a site to me? Leave me a message in the comments. For more of my finds from my rainy-day online shopping, check out my Kaboodle profile.

Me:  Andrew, why are you driving the wrong way round the Mario Kart track?

Victoria (aged 8):  It’s because Andrew is full of ignorance.

Me:  He’s full of ignorance?

Victoria: Yes, but I don’t know what ignorance means.

Andrew (aged 5): Ignorance!!!  Yeaahahaha!

Victoria: What does ignorance mean?

Me: Er, it’s kind of like being really silly.

Victoria: Yes, well then Andrew really IS full of ignorance.

You really have to wonder where kids hear these things.